Friday, February 27, 2009

Ugly Vendor

Would you hire an ugly vendor?

I don't know if I would. I know that sounds superficial, but I mean your guests are looking at your caterer, DJ, videographer, or photographer. Generally most of the vendors are ok, middle of the road looking, but then sometimes you get some fugly people. I know I sound like an ass, but you really want to subject your guests to that. Are your friends ugly? Of course not. Not to you, but to someone else, one of your friends might be ugly. So if think of all the various guests that you are inviting who don't know each other but know you. Now think that they have all different thoughts about what ugly looks like. Then think of your vendor. Did they fall off ugly tree? I am not hiring someone who looks like Freddy Krueger. Just like you aren't going to see Shamu @ New York Fashion Week (ok, that was from "The City", I know, I know, I know). To be honest, I haven't met any Freddy's, nor expect to. But I have met/seen some borderlines that make me think. Call Pretty or Call Borderline? Hmm..I'll call pretty.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I love the free stuff

So I went to my first registry event over the weekend. I didn't even know they had registry events, but it totally makes sense. All these companies want a piece of the wedding cake, so why not open a couple hours early and host an event for all the couples. The one I attended was at Crate and Barrel. Now, Crate is just overpriced in general. Most of the stuff is all one brand and there isn't really any diversity. They sell Wustof, but not Henckel. They sell All-Clad and Calphalon, and not, well I guess you shouldn't be using anything else. They sell OXO, but not Glad. I am just looking at all this crap and going, "Man, I could go to Chinatown or Daiso and buy all this stuff for like a dollar." I was actually looking at an All-Clad 12" stainless steel fry pan and it was at full retail price of 160, when I just bought it for 70 bux a couple weeks ago. So here I am with 70+ other couples wading through all that Crate has to offer, looking might go lucky (don't know how to they do it since it is freakin like 9 in da morn), and all I can see is free stuff. Free waffles so that they can pimp the waffle maker. Free panini sandwiches so they can pimp the panini press. Free coffee so people can be wired and scan like maniacs. Free mimosa's and champagne so your vision will be blurry and won't be able to make out the prices. Free cookies because everyone just loves a cookie. Another nice thing was the free bowl. Ok not really. It is this heart shape thing that should only show its face during V day. A couple years ago it is was two champagne flutes, which are way more useful. But another little surprise was the free kitchen shears we got for talking with the Wustof rep. Ding ding ding, winner winner chicken dinner. Take that off the registry.

I think I will go on being a newly engaged for the next 20 yrs and just show up to these things and mooch off some free stuff. Boo yah!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Are you stalking us?

So I bashed on this vendor before in this post and didn't reveal their name. But now that I am thinking back on this, it is time for the unveiling of this retarded vendor. The not so winner is...
Ray & Rob DJ Service by Ray Tomlinson

This is guy is stalking me. He came in at a really good price and wanted to save some cash money. After he talked my ear off and make a dissed his partner because his phone kept ringing, he is now stalking us. He calls me. I don't answer. He leaves a voicemail. He calls me again. He leaves another voicemail. Then at the same time, he calls my fiancee, and hangs up. Calls again and hangs up never leaving a voicemail for her. Like a stalker I tell you. He is hoping for the pick up, but doesn't want to reveal it is him who is calling over and over and over and over and over and over. ENOUGH ALREADY! Just stop. Go Away. Or leave a message and stop stalking me. I don't swing that way bucko. Yuck.

I am not going with him and neither should you. Be safe, don't book Ray & Rob.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Not blogging

For those 9 people who read this blog, I haven't been blogging. Sorry. I suck. Yeah I am sucking wind right now. I am sick and I have work. Here are the past two weeks. Chinese new years dinner, then to Denver for two days, then full days at work firefighting, sitting on calls, writing up documentation, and then I get sick over Presidents and now I have a deadline by Friday to write up massive amounts of troubleshooting documentation so that we are ready for a GoLive of Monday. So no blogging till my hell is over.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I just got back from Denver, and guess what I drove by...the Waffle

Friday, February 6, 2009

Be The Cheapass

If you are a serious cheap ass, how cheap can you have a wedding for 50 people not including license fees. How low can you go? Well you could do the Waffle House wedding or even have chili's cater it. Lets do the math:
1 Dress - $50 target, $20 at goodwill
1 Veil - $6.50 target
1 Shoes - fck shoes, wear sandals
Rehearsal - we do this on the fly
Officiant - that's mah Pa, ya'll hear
Meal for 50 - 50 Costco hot dogs coming right up, oh yeah free drink = $75
Drinks - h2o, that is why god put it on earth = free!!
Flowers - Free, pick them from the neighbor's garden
Bridesmaids - 0, who needs them, they'll just eat my waffles
Groomsmen - 0, they are still at the strip joint
Wedding Car - shopping cart from Safeway...honk honk
Cake - saltine cracker tower with free jelly as the filling, used to be my late night snack.
Rings - lifesavers or twisties from the super!
Venue - public park with fountains, just get someone to get out there early, they will think it is a bbq.
Honeymoon - 1 night outside of mama's house, maybe the toolshed, how romantical

The perfect wedding for 50 people for possibly under $100 bux. Beat that!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

These guys just make you want to get married

If you are getting married and haven't heard of StillMotion, then you've been hiding under a rock. I've been following them for a while now and if you watch their videos, they just make you want to get married. The way they portray day is just so great. If I had cash money, I'd fly them down and have them video our wedding and just be bomb-tastic.

We're in a Recession, Good Time to get Married

Is this a good year to get married? Yes and No. For those who are already secured their date for this year, it don't matter. But for those who are anxious or just want some good reading, listen up. We are in a recession. Yes, R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N. Not even Obamarama can save us. From looking at his stimulus plan, it ain't going to do anyone any good. Why you may ask? Because credit has dried up. A lot of these companies run on credit. Here is an example. AMD. Advance Micro Devices. The competitor to Intel. They lose about 1 billion a quarter. They just had influx of 300 million of investments. Lose 1 billion. Add 300 million. Equal -700 million. Yes still surviving. And they plan to lose money till end of 3rd quarter. They only have like 1 billion in the bank maybe. How does that work. Credit. Credit is king for companies that live in the future instead of the now. So with us in a recession and possibly heading into a depression by the end of the year, why should or shouldn't you get married.

I do: Even if you get ripped off, at least it is going back into the economy. All those destination weddings outside the states..DIE!

I don't: Save your money in case the sh!t falls through the roof and your house is foreclosed and you lose your job. So dreary.

I do: Brings happiness to an otherwise bleak year.

I don't: For all those who are using this as a profit machine, your guests are probably going to no show, no gift, or just give you coals with love.

I do: You can negotiate the hell out of the vendors because they need money too!

I don't: You are probably still going to get ripped off.

I do: Honeymoons are going to be steals from flights to lodging to food.

I don't: Unless you go to Japan, in which case you are going to get raped even more than before.

I do: For all you big Vs out there, this is the year

I don't: Vendors still increased their prices from 2008, you got to be kidding me.

I do: You can get a good deal on a house after your married

I don't: I lost my money in the stock market, I need my wedding money to buy that house.

I do: There are tons of information on weddings to make your day the best it can be.

I don't: You realize that all stress to the nth degree is just not worth it.

I do: You make a blog like this one.

I don't: You make a blog like this one.

I do: You realize you're not the only one like this.

I don't: Damn, you really aren't the only like this.

I do: You love your partner. That is the only reason you need.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Where is my damn photographer?!?!

Oh yeah, in the out of budget area.

I think I screwed myself. Seriously screwed myself. Prior to actually getting engaged, I followed wedding photographers. You may be wondering why. Because they provide inspiration. See I like to shoot. No, not shoot like shooting Bambi, but shooting like capturing the moment. I have been going to all these weddings so it is good to get at least some good shots for my own entertainment and these photogs allow me to train my "eye". So before getting engaged, I followed a handful of wedding photographers, all of whom are out of my budget. Now after researching and getting engaged, I follow over 20+ photographers with only 3 in my budget. How has that trained my eye? It trained my eye to know who is not very good or not very experienced to who is what I want. How has this screwed me? Because everyone I like it massively expensive. Dammit. What have I done. I have created a monster called the "Wedding Photog Blog Stalker from Mars".

How do you push aside you expectations and try to find the good in these low priced photogs? You don't. To me there is no excuse for bad composition. That is the main thing. Bad composition = bad photographer. Give me a photographer who takes great composed pictures, but post processes them terribly and I will make their pictures look like a superstar. Shoot I will make myself look like a superstar. Make my fiance look like a superstar. SUPERSTAR! SPIRIT FINGERS!

Why am I still looking at photogs? Because I don't have one. Well, had one in mind, but can't book till end of April and that is cutting it too close so have to move on. Hopefully this revisit will yield someone, although that someone is going to be higher than our first choice. Yeah it blows like Free Willy's hole.