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Today's generation are all web savvy people. I mean we grew up with this stuff. I am probably dating myself and probably outing my nerdness, but I will do it anywayz. Back in da day; it was a Tuesday by the way, like that fact? chew on it. Back in da day when you used dial up on my Intel 386 66Mhz computer with a 1440bps modem and it was Prodigy vs AOL. Back in the day when Google didn't exist and you could buy walmart.com. There was no internet basically. There was text based chat rooms that could hold 8 people at a time for the whole community. When bulletin boards where the big things and "You've Got Mail" are some magical words. When online kids were so stupid that they gave out their passwords in AOL chatrooms (Maybe that's why I never paid for AOL).
Wedding 1.0
Advertisement: Magazines, trade shows, word of mouth, newsletters, physical mail, yellow pages, penny saver
Reach: tens of thousands
Wedding 2.0
Advertisement: 1.0 + blogs, social networks, community websites, email, twitter
Reach: millions
Some of these vendors are stuck in the dark ages. They have no web presence what so ever. Pictures of their venues suck. Descriptions of their services blow. Now are you serious about your work or is it just for fun. Some of these guys it is just for fun, so I don't hold that against them. But these other guys who hound you and they don't have it all together, why would you want to go with them.
Now don't get me wrong I like going to all these community places like Project Wedding, Yelp, Wedding Bee, etc... and sharing my opinions and experiences with a vendor, restaurant or whatever. So that is why I bash the ones I don't like, and praise the ones I do. You are given this outlet channel, might as well use and don't let these guys get you down. Read everything and take nothing for granted.
Why you calling me? Oh cuz I met with you. I got to keep this vendor stringing along because we haven't booked the other person yet so if sh!t hits the fan, I got to keep this one live. But I don't want to talk him because he talks too much. You ever get those. I had 2 in the past week. Those vendors who love to sell because they love to listen to themselves. Gawd. Shoot me now. I want to reach through the phone and choke them and say "LET ME SPEAK!" Let me go a little MLK on you,"I have a dream that one day, all vendors, regardless of industry; weddings, corporate events, bar mitzvah, christenings, bounce house parties; will all sell their wonderful things fast and speak to the point. That all listeners of their own voice will relinquish the desire to talk in large amounts. That they have the courage to take an Immodium or make use of a cork to stop their deadly annoying disease 'Diarrhea of the mouth'.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day the first vendor you meet will seem like your best friend or long lost sister, brother, midget twin, three legged dog or that ham sandwich from 2 tuesdays ago.
I have a dream that my two little future children will one day live in a nation where they will not be scammed by the same thieves who have tried to do me wrong, but be in a level playing field full of bargains and coups.
I have a dream today!
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of America's fiancees will be able to sing with new meaning:
My wedding 'tis of thee, sweet holy matrimony, of thee I sing.
Land where my wallet sucked dry, land of the bargainer's pride,
From every discount store, let freedom ring!
And if our weddings are to be a great extravaganza, this must become true.
And when this happens, when we allow our wallet's freedom ring, when we let it ring from every mall and every venue, from every church to dinning hall, we will be able to speak up that day for all future brides and grooms, cheap bastards and stingy parents, religious cheaters and non-affliated posers, TomKat and Speidi, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of my spiritual:
Saving at last! Saving at last!
Thank You the Cranky Wedding Blogger Almighty, we are saving at last!"
Man I hope I don't get anymore of these guys.
After talking to all these vendors, you got to wonder if they actually know how to sell people. I mean they got to be able to sell to a certain extent otherwise they wouldn't still be in business. But once you drop the fact that you are looking at another vendor, which isn't theirs, they go into overdrive. What are they offering? Did they do this and that? Why are you choosing them? Normally I wouldn't mind it because they are just trying to make the sale, but for some reason this last one just irked me a little.
So the vendor that got a little under me was Robert Poff @ Station Identification DJ services. Richard called me to follow up on an email inquiry/response that he had sent me. I proceeded to tell him that I was down last weekend and met with a couple of DJs already and was looking seriously at one. He asked how did I choose which ones to go with. My answer was price. Straight up. On a budget, so started from the bottom and moved up. He was taken aback by that response. He proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be looking at price. Telling me how he convinced people from a certain range to go with him. Let me tell you, this guy isn't cheap. His prices for Ceremony and Reception are 2K+. Out of range. He was confident though that he could change our minds. Then he goes on:
RP: Did DJ show you videos?
Me: No. He showed me pictures.
RP: I do that, he should do that. You should see how he is in action.
Me (thinking): Videos are just your best performances, you can weed out all worst ones, so it doesn't tell me the complete picture. Bet you were drunk and fell off the stage once also. Do you have that on video?
Me: I looked him up on the internet and he got positive reviews.
RP: How many?
Me: He had a few.
RP: I have 100s of reviews. I do 1-2 events a weekend, about 150 events a year, your DJ should have 100s of reviews. Can your guy mix?
Me: Yeah, he will beat mix and he used to mix at clubs.
RP: Did he show you a video?
Me: No (get over the video fool), but I am sure he can mix and keep people dancing.
RP: You know what I do? I take you into our studio and mix for you.
Me (thinking): Woo hoo! *twirling fingers* white boy mixing
RP: Give me any genre and any song and I will mix them.
Me: OK
RP: Well I am really sure that you guys will like us and you should come in.
Me: Ok.
I am sure that if I told him something else about the DJ, he would have tried to one up them. there was more to this conversation, but I just didn't want to write it up. You and your vendor are suppose to gel with your personalities. I don't respond well to people who are critical of others. Turn off. Hyperspace and talks non-stop. Turn off.
This guy was a turn off. I don't know how he got so many people to go with him. Oh and the kicker is, is that he is a compilation of DJs. He does the selling, someone else does the DJing. Wonderful. Sign me up! NOT!
Always wonder what people do when they don't go traditional? They don't have the normal officiant or father to walk the bride down the aisle. What do they do?
They do what they love! They theme it. So this couple, a couple of Gamers, who met while playing Halo 2 decided to get hitched and make a Halo theme out of it. It is quite neat if you are into it. When my friend first told me about a Halo wedding, I thought it would two nerds playing video games and like standing their with a bunch of their Halo friends in the game and them saying their vows over the microphone. But no! This is way cooler equipped with Master Chief and a tournament. Prepare to get ideas for your wedding!
Not that I have anything against white people, but we just basically distinguish all non-Asian stores as White people stores because generally they are. Granted a small subset may be own by Indian, Persian or some other non-Euro ethnic background, but the majority are either America or Euro owned stores. Soooo why do they feel they can jack people. Now I haven't been dress shopping (forbidden), but I have heard through the grapevine that white shop charges 1800 and asian shop charges 900. WTF? Now that is just an example, but seriously why the other $900 bones? Just cuz you been there longer? Nah, I think just because they can. Now I can't speak for everyone, but in general, customers feel a some what ease when dealing with people of the same race. You know there is that commonality. It is like when you go to college, most people click first with people of the same race or ethnicity and then branch out from there. I think that is the same with wedding shops. If you are a snooty dress shop owner, and a rich buyer comes walking through the door, they feel they can relate to you in this high class store. I mean can you really imagine Fergie or Angelina going out to Wedding Row in like San Gabriel or something to bargain hunt for a dress? I don't think so, but this is ok. The common folk loves to find a deal and 50% off is a pretty darn good deal.
So if I am not going to buy from the high priced stores, what good are they for? Because they have stock. They have selection. Go there, find your dress, then go to an Asian joint and save some cash money. Do a good deed and save some green!
I was reading a blog that talks about certain random stuff but one thing stuck out. He detailed alittle about how many post a day he did to make his blog have a following of 50,000 or so. Now I have a following a 6 and probably could increase that even more with a little marketing or more updates than I normally do or with generally useful information. I could probably get sponsers and stuff to pay for my time and make it worth while. But then I would actually have to be thinking about the wedding full time. I think about it maybe an hour a day, sometimes I don't think about it at all. I think that is advantage of starting so early. You are ahead of schedule, or keeping it simple so you don't have to think about all these things.
So now back to the topic at hand. How do I make this sh!t popular. I want to be popular. Never was popular in college. In high school, majority of the class knew me. But I want to be popular on a massive scale. Like Mark Cuban style. I want to max out my facebook and create the largest Plaxo account ever! HAHAHAHA..ok not really. SO the guy goes on and says that in order to make your blog the best and for it to move to the top of the leaderboards on Google, you need to post at least 1 post an hour everyday! Get out of town and call me Shirley. 1 post an hour? I'm lucky if I even have a thought an hour let alone a whole post. And the content has to be good. You have to write well otherwise people won't return. So that is a Nay and a Nay.
Then he pointed out some examples. He referenced the gossip blogs. Yes I read them because they are so freakin entertaining. But they post about 1 an hour over a days time. By the time I open my RSS reader there are like 200+ posts from 10 blogs. That is pretty good. That is probably why they are up at the top and worth bucks.
So I have come to the conclusion that at the conclusion of this wedding and honeymoon, I will shut this guy down forever. Why have a wedding blog when the wedding is no more. I ain't going to post 1 an hour. I won't even do 1 a day. I struggle for 1 a week. This is more of a comical outlet more than any. Just for me to lay the smack down on all those who take advantage of us. May God be with you suckas.
* this post doesn't make any sense. I must be high.
Why do DJs always have the inclination to start the dancing with "Celebration"? I hate that song. I liked it before when like the Oakland Raiders used it and it was bad ass because you are surrounded by a bunch of bad ass, dressed up, done up freaks and they are singing along like little fruitcakes. But after double digit weddings in the past two years and hearing the song at basically every single freakin' one of them, I can officially say that wedding DJs have ruined that song for me FOREVER! All I think is Grandpa Joe and Grandma Jane alongside Uncle Roger and Auntie May dropping it like its hot like they have just jumped through a time machine to the 70s. I am sorry. I live in the present. I live in the 2 triple 0. 21st century. I want 21st century music or at least music that I listened to when I started listing to Wild 94.9 in middle school. I want my stuff to be hip to the hop with B Rabbit tearing it up on the mic.
When the party gets started at the wedding, we are going to turn this joint into Club Leong. Those old people don't even stand a chance. Might as well leave before the cake comes out if you don't want to break your ear piece. Its going to be like Tijuana on College Night at the Safari Club. No Grandma this isn't your wholesome ho down, this is the loud and rude battle time. Bring your A game suckas!
Then my fiancee hits me in the head and snaps me back into reality. 4 piece jazz quartet it is. Yes dear. Well, it is always good to dream.
I went to a wedding party on Dec 31st. It was a very interesting day to have it because it is the perfect day to party it up as the new year rolls around. What was nice about it was that it was pretty simple. Done in groom's house, self service on the food, open bar, valet, some party favors and small amount of people. They went from engaged to married in 3 months. A small ceremony the day before and it was it.
I think I envy those people who can get it done in a short amount of time and don't need the 1-4 years to plan something. Simple. Simple is the way to go.
On a side note: the best part of the wedding party festivities was the aerobics instructor that they brought in. Just imagine a Gloria Estefan wannabe from the 80s with the white head band and fuchsia shiney stretchy pants and white oversized t-shirt. You got that. Picture that in your mind. Now picture her doing the samba or cha cha cha routines followed by the Macarena. You got that picture. Now to top it off, imagine the followers to be old chinese ladies in their dress up close breaking mad sweats as they follow her. Freakin hilarious. Love it! You're hired!
I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to meet your budget. How did I reach this moment of clarity? While washing my hair this morning. Yeah totally random. If you are trying to have a budget wedding, it is almost near impossible to meet your initial budget because there is one thing that the wedding industry knows and you don't: the Prices.
I think most people try to go into the planning process and how to create a budget by thinking they know what the industry knows. You compile information based on findings on the web and spreadsheets from your friends. But all that is useless if the wedding is based in butt f*ck no where and not in sunny high cost of living California or your friends wedding is 10 times your budget.
The only way I can see being happy with the amount of money you are spending is by getting stuff that is within a budget you set for that item. I know that is the dumbest way to go about things since after you add it all up, you probably blew way past your budget.
You guys may go, "Hey there are magazines that give you how much you should budget for each item", but we are Americans. We love to push the envelope. I want to have 150 people and spend only 10K and have it on a Saturday night with Champagne toast and sit down dinner. "YEAH RIGHT!" is what the author of that article would say.
So my only solution to this massive problem is to....MAKE MORE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT!
Only if it was as easy as it sounds. Maybe Obama should give me some of that Detroit bailout money to me instead of to Joe Machiner who sleeps on the job.
I took a break from wedding stuff. A long break. Like a month. Man that was nice. Now my fiancee is noticing that we are a little over 9 months out and is about to start stressing. Let the fun times begin.
