Thursday, December 10, 2009


In the post "*Deal Alert* 44 cent personalized stamps for less" I wrote about how you could get a deal on 44 cent stamps. Well the stamps are basically forever stamps. I am just getting around to ordering some and did the math and the price for 1 sheet of 20 stamps came out to be around 45 cents per stamp after shipping. In my mind that isn't a deal. I change the quantity and figured out that the coupon is actually worth a little bit more than $21. Well that is kind of interesting. Then I got to thinking. What if I can stack coupons. I got to order multiple of these things anyways. So I increased the quantity to 2 and used 2 coupons. The shipping stayed at 2.99 (how kind of them since they are only shipping paper) and both coupons negated any additional charges so the price per stamp came out to be 40.85 cents. That sounds like a deal to me since a normal stamp is 44 cents. Well you know you got to take it one step more. So I increased the stamp quantity to 3 sheets of 20 stamps and brought the total down to 38.9 cents per stamp.

Basically if you order multiple sheets of the same stamp they bring down the price per sheet.

What is the ultimate lowest you can get. Well you don't want to end up with a bunch of stamps that you can't use cuz the prices went up, so the ultimate you can get is.....(drumroll pleasssseeee....blat pat blat pat)

24.4 cents per stamp!!!!

What a steal! Order 10 sheets and use 7 coupons. Wah bam! Those are 1988 prices.

Friday, December 4, 2009

It's War! CreekHiker vs. Alycia

The undercard fight tonight is....

CreekHiker aka "Haymaker Holly" vs Alycia aka "Thief and Liar"
5' 2" | HEIGHT | 5' 6"
108 CM | LENGTH | 120 CM

What is going on with this blog. There is a war of words going down in this post "Do not use Custom Caters and Catered Affairs" and I love it. I love the drama. It is like an online version of Gossip Girl, Melrose Place, 90210 or some other Aaron Spelling program. Like the soap opera in the middle of the day, but not on your tube (does anyone still have a tube?), but online.

Granted it is only 3 comments long, I am glad that CreekHiker came back and fought with words to get the last laugh. I so wish that I could somehow elevate that post to the top level so that Alycia can fight back and defend her name!

I love drama. I squirt my toothpaste from the top just to infuriate those bottom toothpaste people. I put non-matching socks to piss off those who think stripes shouldn't go with polkadots. I sing off key to tick off glee club members. All these things so I can feed my need for drama. It is like speed and I can't get enough of it!

As of now, I believe it is a TKO for CreekHiker!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Vendor Review: Amy Carter @ Ruby Slippers Events

Our wedding is suppose to be a budget wedding. Now that budget wedding got a little over budget, but it was still the most cost effective wedding out of all of my friends. How was this done? Well it was done by trying to use services from people who were just starting their service business. Well how did that turn out? Not so good to OK.

I was browsing the Wedding Bee classified boards to find some free stuff. One of the posts that I stumbled upon was a thread started by Amy Carter or AmyM83 entitled "Southern California DOC & Planner, FREE services!" so I said what da heck, I like free, my favorite F word. I contacted her and exchanged a few emails and we worked out a trade: services for pictures. I agreed and we were on our merry way.

Now I will admit that we could have finished our timeline a little earlier and given it to Amy to mentally prepare for the wedding day, but honestly, I think that if you are a professional and want to be part of this space, then you go to be able to jump into any situation. We ended up handing off the timeline to her the day of when she showed up to the venue. Our whole purpose of having her there was to take care of the vendors and to keep us on track. If our helpers were pressed for time, then they could ask her for help.

What was the outcome? Let's say that our DJ asked it if was her first time. We fell behind our timeline. She asked us vendor questions during the day. She ended up asking one of the MOH's what to do. She was not authoritative. She didn't say goodbye to my wife, but she did leave some business cards. When there was chaos, she checked out. Now, I won't say it was all bad. She was there and she did handle some stuff. But if you are going into this biz, you go to take charge. The coordinator is suppose to be in charge. She was not.

One thing that was kind of jacked up is that she didn't know people you would think she would know. Example: My sister and mother wanted to use the bathroom in the wedding party changing rooms (immediate family and wedding party were allowed to) and she denied them. Why? Because she didn't know who they were. She thought they were just regular guests. Our venue coordinator knew who they were and let them through. And when they came back from the bathroom, they felt that Amy glared at them. How's that for professionalism.

Now we told her that she could use our pictures from our event. I am down with her using pictures of things that she did, but there is a little problem: She didn't setup anything. Yup. I had people do it. So she will probably end up using the pictures, but if she takes any credit for it, I am going to have to call her out on that.

I take some blame for finding her, but I needed to save some cash money. The fact that my wedding was 2.5 months ago tells you how vivid her services were to us. So would I recommend her? No. Would I pay for her services? Hell no. If people are shooting off glowing reviews, then I guess someone has got to put a lightbulb in my ass and then my review will go also.

Not that I want to promote her or anything, but this is so people can find this review:
Amy Carter

Monday, November 23, 2009

Is this a wedding or are we going clubbing?

What is deemed proper wedding attire for women attending weddings? Maybe a dress? Maybe heels or flats? Maybe a bra? Maybe underwear?

Yeah the last two seem like no brainers right? Not to some ladies. My friends told me of a wedding that they went to and this chick was wearing a short dress. How short you ask? So short that when she sat down, she flashed the goods. Yes the goods. Lefty and Righty. Drop it like its hot. The salt shaker. The humpty hump. Sick. Put those undies on. Shoot they give them away for free at VS. Cover it up and maybe wear something that is knee length. You are not heading to some new hot joint in the city looking for your next man. You are going to a wedding looking for your man. Look decent. Please. For all of us.

Monday, October 12, 2009

How to give a great speech

A lot of weddings you go to, the speeches suck or are less than memorable. What gives that edge to some people and not to others. There are a few things that you should keep in mind when giving a speech.

1) Confidence - Everyone is staring at you when you give your speech. What you have to do is be confident. Be confident in your voice and your posture. Don't fidget or sway side to side. Stand up straight and in one place. Look relaxed. Feel relaxed. The thing you go to remember is that no one knows the stories that you are about to tell better than you do. You didn't just make this stuff up on the fly. This stuff actually happened and you actually mean everything you say. You are the freakin' source, end all, dictator of this stuff. If Bob got mauled by a bear and the groom screamed like a little girl, gosh darn it, he screamed like a little girl cuz you said so. Be the speech, be the topic, because no one is the wiser.

2) Don't say umm, hmm, like - This isn't the valley. Don't say like. Don't pretend like you are in the movie "Clueless". You don't look like Alicia Silverstone and you must learn how to parallel because not everywhere has valet. Umm and hmm is not a word. They are modifiers because you forgot what da heck you were going to say. If you must use them, please do it softly. If you are started going..."We met high school and our fifth grade teacher was ...UMMMMM...", people are going to laugh. Ok, they aren't going to laugh, but you will definitely be the butt of some jokes later on. The best thing to do is just pause. Take a break and compose your thoughts and then continue on.

3) Don't ramble - This isn't English class or Speech 101 where you must speak for a designated amount of time. This your speech. You have as much time as you need. If it is over in 1 minute, then it just be one good ass speech. If you are over in 10 seconds, that better be the best one-liner ever. Don't let your speech go for 20 minutes and it is filled with nothingness. Fill your speech with substance.

4) There has got be a point - There should also be at least one good story. Generally you want it to be a story that is funny and embarrassing. If you have two stories, the 2nd one should contain both your subjects, i.e. Bride and Groom. But don't go on and on about the story. Make it short. Make it concise. Make it funny. No one wants to know that Jimmy's fifth grandmother was on insulin unless it is totally related to the story. The story has to have a point. It should be structure...Bob is a cool guy......that is why Bob is cool.

5) Preparation - don't forget to practice. The best stories come from those who memorize their speeches. Don't read off a piece of paper. Don't read off your iPhone. If you want to deliver jokes and want them to work, do it from memory. You don't see comedians go on stage with a giant teleprompter or a long sheet of a paper. That is the best part. They deliver it and they deliver like it is their mess. They own it. You must own your speech. The best way is too memorize it. By memorizing, you don't have pause during the speech to find your place or scroll through the document to see if you missed anything. Own it. Prepare. Memorize.

6) There are two - If you are giving a speech as a Best Man or Maid of Honor, remember there are two people that should be included in your speech and it is not you and Groom/Bride. Both of the Groom and Bride should be mentioned in the speech. I don't care if the first time was over spaghetti two nights ago. Somehow work into the speech that the Groom slurped up his noodle and got sauce all over his face and the Bride promptly threw sauce on her face so he wasn't embarrassed and that is how you knew that they were meant to be. Doesn't matter if the first time that you met the other person was on the wedding day. Mention both. There are two. Remember that.

7) It is a conversation - The misconception about speeches is that you are broadcasting it to everyone. Technically you are speaking to everyone, but you have to imagine that you are talking to one person. You are having a conversation with that one person. The whole thing is that most everyone knows what you are talking about and if they don't, they will be genuinely interested because it feels like you are talking directly to them. Make that eye contact like you would in a normal conversation. Throw in a "You know what I mean?" or "Ain't that true?". It will relax you and relax the audience.

8) Slooooooooooow down - This isn't the Kentucky Derby. Speak clearly and normally. When people are nervous, they tend to speed up their speech. Slow down. Pause after sentences so that they sink in. Speak at a normal rate. It helps to feel that confidence. If you are nervous, throw in a good joke to break the ice. Embarrass yourself to get the audience laughing. All this will help you relax and slow your speech down.

No one can tell you how to write a good speech. We all write, talk, and convey things differently. I can only help you deliver it, structure it. The speech must have a point, a reason, an example, and a point. Once you got that, you got the makings of a good speech.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

We are married!

Yes, we are married. What to blog about now. Well, how about the wedding. Things went wrong, things went right, but things went smooth. That is the way it should be. I will be blogging about this later as I am probably on my honeymoon and just post randomly.

For those who are using Michael C. Events for your wedding, email me at baleong at gmail and I will have to tell you what to watch out for when you use him. Just some bewares which we found out first hand.

Woot woot, married and now it is honeymoon time!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What's my name fool?

Yeah, what is my name. Let's just say my name is Dan. You know my name is Dan, my parents know my name is Dan and my librarian knows that my name is Dan. My name is not Daniel, Danny, Dannyboy, David, Ron, Bob, or any other creative name. On my wedding invitation it says Dan Doe and Jane Doe's Wedding. The check that you are getting from me says Dan. So why do you insist on calling me Danny?

We were at my wedding and this DJ, let's say it was a she and her name was Karen (b/c as Dane Cook says, "Karen is always a douche bag") can't my name right for the life of her. So Karen proceeds to say, "Welcome to the wedding of Danny and Jane". Strike 1. My name is Dan. Then she goes "Danny and Jane want to hear those glasses clang." Strike 2. You get the point. Even after we go up there and tell her that my name is Dan, she proceeds to call me Danny. Even after my grandma goes up and says "Listen douche bag, his name is Dan and I don't know who Danny is, but you better get this right before I take my teeth out and throw down", Karen still gets it wrong.

Now, how are you suppose to make money after this wedding if you can't even say the groom's name correctly. Do you have some place else to be? Do you have to go meet your boyfriend DANNY. Who is this Danny who is supposedly at the wedding. Some summer fling you can't get out of your mind. A hidden 90210, Melrose Place, or Gossip Girl character?

Please, how hard is it? I would understand if they had some name that was like 10 syllables, but for realz. 1 syllable. That is it. 1 syllable, 3 letters. That is all it is. you suck as a MC because you don't even know who is getting married. And you suck as a DJ b/c you can't mix worth a $@!t. You are fired. End of story.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I hate Gary Fong

Ok, I don't hate Gary Fong, but I hate the inventions that he has made for the camera flash. There are two that are just horrible: the Lightsphere and the WhaleTail. If you don't know what these are, here is a picture:

Essentially they go on top of the flash to make the light softer so that you look prettier. I have no problem with diffusers as they really help, but these completely suck. Not for the photographer, not for the subjects, but for all the people around these monstrosities.

Let me get my first beef out of the way: They are both ugly. Who wants a freakin WhaleTail coming out of your camera. This isn't some rice rocket Civic cruising down the street; this is a wedding, an event. The photographer is not suppose to stand out. It isn't suppose to look like Shamu is breaching from an ocean of guests everytime the photographer gets up from their knees. We are at a wedding, not Marine World.

My second beef with these things are: They light up like a lightbulb. Seriously. The whole thing lights up like the sun. Not only do they light up the subjects, but they light up every one around it. They light up Mom to the left, Dad in the back, and Grandma up top. Every time the photographer takes a picture, you think it is distress beacon. You immediately look for a raft and life vest until you realize you are at a wedding. (Of course you are drunk, so this realization might take a minute or so.)

I have been to two weddings with photographers who use these beasts. The first one, I was just in awe because I have never seen anyone use it before. The 2nd, I was just plain annoyed. Mainly because I sat in front and sometimes the photographer would come in front of me and take pictures. After a while, I just had to close my eyes because it was getting some damn annoying. I started hallucinating and thought I was in a X-Files episode and the aliens were doing experiments on me.

In general, photographers don't use these products, but I would just inquire when you are interviewing them so your guests are not subjected to constant strobe light.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Talk about Quick Cash

I know how to make quick cash. I wheel and deal and make extra money here and there, but this officiant business is some serious quick cash. Now granted you only can do like at most 3 weddings in a day and most of the weddings happen only one day of the week, but you could make some serious money on that one day.

We went down to the wire on the wedding officiant (as in booked him two days ago) because I couldn't stomach the amount of money it would cost. $400 for the day of, $50 for commute, $150 for rehearsal. Are you serious? $150 for rehearsal seems like a steal compared to the $400 for the day of since they have to stay for like 1.5 hrs versus a ceremony which is on avg 15 minutes. I mean if you do the math, the officiant is making $1600/hr. Insane in the membrane, insane in the BRAIN.

I need to get into this business. All I got to do is put on a bed sheet, wrap my neck with sports tape or color it with whiteout and grab myself a leather bound book to hold and know how to read. I bet I could even get by without reading as long as I have a good memory.

In all fairness, they still have to do a good job and hopefully they do if you are paying them that much. Now I let that guy who quoted me $400 to do the wedding go. I decided to take a friends recommendation and go with Reverend Bob. Dude is cheaper than most guys at $225. You generally don't need them at rehearsal because all they do is walk out with the guys, read from a paper, and then sign a document. Not rocket science and not a lot coordinating needed for him. Plus for $150, I could myself a pretty nice streak at Lawry's.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Photobook of all Photobooks

So I have printed out quite a few photobooks in my time and have been trying out different companies from MyPublisher, Shutterfly, Snapfish, Kodak, ArtsCow and Blurb. These are all reasonably priced photobook suppliers. I have not tried Apple's service because it is just too darn expensive. Well for our signin book, I wanted to try another company, AdoramaPix. It is basically the photo department of, the photo equipment retailer. Now I found out about AdoramaPix by a review done by another photography site, XEQUALS.

My first thought was, how much better can this book be? It is hands down the best I have gotten so far. I wouldn't say the construction of the outside is the best I have ever seen versus some leather bound books, but it is definitely good for a wrap around. The paper is what sets this apart. It is printed on matte photopaper. None of that photopaper that tends to look too glossy or cheapy. These pages are nice and thick and of great quality. The color reproduction is excellent and they provide you with the colorspace that they print with, which is a nice touch. Creating the book can be done all online and you can even save a local copy to your disk in case anything ever happens to their servers. The only thing about the online method is that there is no center on page for the photo. Other than that, the making of the book was simple and fast.

My only complaint is that there isn't a first throwaway page. The first page on the book is printed to photopaper that the glued to the front cover. It would have definitely been nice to know this since I would have left that page blank.

All and all, I will definitely be ordering from them again.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

RSVPs where are you

Getting RSVPs is like "Where's waldo." I mean we sent out about 135 invites and only missing about 20 or so, but still. Granted we sent some invites to people who don't use the internet or would even know how to spell it and they probably couldn't even read our invitation, but those people aside, where are the rest of them.

We are getting a good amount of NOs, which is what we were planning for as to hit out 160 mark. We invited 269 people and almost at our magic number which I must say is quite exciting. Seriously, if 260 people showed up, I probably would have shat a brick of money since that would just boost our total spent to some ridiculous number that I don't even want to think about. Man, I am sweating just thinking about it.

So 3 wks and some days left and we are running out of weekends to do stuff. I am running out of work days to do stuff. Stuff needs to get done but it is not. I stressing? Maybe just a little bit. Whoever thought stuff take so long to get done. Of course it is your wedding, so you got to spend a little extra time critiquing and changing things that you do, but I feel at some point you just have to go 95% of the way, because the last 5% always take 5 times as long as the first 95%. Plus it is always the little things that kill you. The decorations, the parent gifts, the registry, etc.. etc.. etc.. Can't you tell I am pulling out my hair. Gawd, I just want it to be over with so I can have a normal life again. Married. Done.

Friday, July 31, 2009

*Deal Alert* 44 cent personalized stamps for less

If you can find them, this is a good deal for those who are mailing invitations that are lucky enough to fall under the 1oz mark. At Walgreens they have marked down their Photo stamps to $7.19 for 20 1st class stamps. You upload your photo and they mail you your stamps. If you do the math, you can get the stamps for 36 cents. For today only though, there is a 15% off coupon here: which drops the price down to 33 cents per stamp. This is quite a deal and if you can find it, it will save you a little money and add that personal touch that you might have been looking for. The stamps are located by the photo section in green boxes. Happy hunting!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Using Vendors for Information

I am shameless. Yes shameless. I have no loyalty to vendors. I am going to get a quote and then pimp that quote out to get one better and then pimp those back to you for a lower one. It is like the circle of saving money. Use one to get a lower one and then use the lower one to get an even lower one. That is how I roll.

Case and point. Alcohol. Everyone knows that the alch can be a big cost. It is quite possible that it could cost more than the dinner if you are doing the typical beef/chicken/veggie. Now I am a big proponent of open bar. I feel that the party doesn't start until the spirits start flowing. You need to loosen people up. People are with other people they don't know, but you want everyone to get to know everyone. You want them to be wild and entertaining. So when we started planning this wedding, open bar was a must. Now setting a budget for liquor is kind of difficult. We gave ourselves one and then started looking for vendors. We stumbled upon Wally's Wine. The best part about this place is that any unopened alcohol can be returned. BAD ASS. Cuz really, what are you going to do with 50 bottles of leftover stuff. When we got the quote from them, I was like W-H-O-A. Hold up here. You are charging me this and this and this much. I had to stop. Breathe. and then start up again.

Now, I did really want to see what they would charge, but more importantly, I wanted to know what they thought I needed for this amount of people. I am not a party planner, I am not a caterer, I am not a bartender. I don't know these things and why not utilize the expertise of professionals. In reality, it only took me about 5 minutes on the phone and a couple of days waiting for the proposal.

So after I got the prices, where was the first place I went. Our favorite warehouse store, Costco. Sellers of everything large and beyond large. You need a 10 yr supply of toilet paper, they sell it. You need enough jerky sticks to build a house, they sell it. You want to buy underwear and engagement ring in one stop, they're full service. You want to buy alcohol for your wedding, boo yah. What is the problem buying the alchy at Costco? They sell it in like 2 gallon bottles. Ok, maybe that is a little of an exageration, but the bottles are generally twice the size. I am sure the bartenders aren't going to enjoy lifting them and twirling them and whatever. Fine, they can't be Tom Cruise in Cocktail, but I will be saving some cash money.

Granted Costco doesn't sell everything, but they sell most of the items. I will finish collecting the rest of the stuff from BevMo, Safeway, and Trader Joe's. All and all, I am going most likely cut the Wally's Wine's quote in half. Yes 50%. FIVE-O suckas.

So if you are looking at providing your own liquor, look no further than Wally's Wine for the information, then go shopping to save some money.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

How much time do I spend on my posts?

You may think that these posts are cleverly thought up and thought out. You may also notice that my grammer is poor and sometimes I have spelling mistakes. This is because when I post, it is like a lightbulb went off in my head and I essentially barfed all the sentences onto this site. The avg post time for me: 2 minutes. Yes, 2 minutes. Don't even go through it to see if it all makes sense. I don't realize I made mistakes until my fiancee corrects me. But otherwise, everything is shot from the hip onto this site. That is the way I like it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Not all Post Offices are created equal

In researching different post offices and stuff I have found that not all Post Offices are created equal. Of course you get the occasional mean post office clerk, but that is the same with all types of businesses. What is really weird is how much they will charge you for things. Here are some things to be aware of when you mail your invitations:

1) The electronic postage system that some post offices have outside of the door cannot be trusted. It is not always calibrated correctly because the little kiddies like to mess with it. If you are right on the cusp of a weight limit, it is better to go to the postal clerk to have them measure it. You don't really want to chance 100+ invitations in your mailbox stamped "Return to Sender".

2) There is no charge for hand canceling. What is hand canceling? Hand Canceling is process of a postal clerk manually stamping the envelope to postmark the stamp and cancel it out so it can no longer be used. Generally the mail is run through a machine to do the canceling. People rather hand cancel delicate mail, like invitations, to reduce the wear on the envelope and contents inside. If a Post Office charges you for hand canceling, report them to the Postmaster General because it should be free of charge.

3) Not all Clerks are created equal. Each postal clerk will vary in the amount that they charge you. I went to mail through the electronic machine and it was 44 cents. I gave it to one clerk and she said I was right at the 61 cent mark. I gave it to another clerk at the same office and she said it was 44 cents plus 20 cents for a bump. Not everyone is the same. Measure it on the electronic scale first to get a gauge, then take it the post office clerk to try to get that amount. If one gives you a higher price, take it to another until you get someone who gives you the lower amount.

4) Bumps may not incur an extra 20 cent charge. The post office has a machine for which all of the mail is run through. If they can't run it through the machine, then they will charge you an extra 20 cents on top of the paid postage. This includes bumps, rigid articles, fragile articles, etc... For bumps, this is the most arbitrary of them all. It is all up to the clerk to determine whether or not the bump is major enough that it won't go through the machine. If a clerk charges you for a bump, you can ask her to run it through a slot that they have that mimics the opening of the machine. If the mail passes through that slot, then you are fine and do not have to pay that extra 20 cents. You may think 20 cents isn't a lot, but when sending 100 invitations, that is 20 bux and a good dinner.

All and all, just try to go to a post office that isn't busy and has nice clerks. If they aren't nice, go somewhere else. If they are busy, come back another time. A lot of couples spent a lot of time putting together the invitations, there no point in being hassled while sending them, so do yourself a favor and try to make it as easy as possible.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

All the things we could have at our wedding, but can't

You think your wedding can be a party? Well some people think it should be the biggest party in the world. If my wedding was to be one big party, what would I do?

I would dance down the aisle like these guys:

And do my first dance like these folks:

Have a choreographed dance like:

Or like the one in She's All That.

Entertainment with the guests wouldn't stop with the dancing, but continue one with


I would also higher a Taco Lady and a Donut Lady. It would just be off the hook.

Too bad the bounce house got shot down at our venue. You thought I was joking huh?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Numbers, thank god for numbers

Ever get those RSVP cards with no names on them? They say no, but you don't know where da heck it came from. That is where the numbers game comes in. Every guest group is assigned a number. That number is either printed or penciled on the RSVP card. Now you know who is who without them actually writing so. You might think, "How often does this happen?" And you know what I was thinking the same thing. But low and behold we got a our first one, 3 days after we sent out our invites. The first blank NO came back. Thank god for numbers is all I have to say.

Number your RSVP cards and save yourself a headache.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


So I guess you can invite Obama to your wedding. So how cool do you think it would be it you did that and HE CAME! I would totally give Obama seating up front with my family.

But I hear that the Pres responds with an 'Out of the Office' or traveling or something like that. What a crock. What does the president have to do anywayz.

I think we are going to send him one just for the heck of it.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Oh Pretty Fonts, Let me jack you

If you are one of those people who are doing DIY invitations or cards or what not, you always need that pretty Serif or Script font. I was looking all over the place for the free fonts and they never fit the bill. Let's face it, if they are free, how creative do they really want to get when they can sell the good stuff for moola. So I stumbled upon this site, This site has tons of pay fonts and allows you to scale to pretty large sizes. You can type in what you want to print out on the site and it will render it in the site. They also have tags on the fonts so you can find all the Script fonts or invitations fonts, etc...

So you may be asking, what is a cheap a$$ like myself doing on a site where you have to pay for stuff? Jacking it of course. You may gasp, but just treat it like you do music. If there is a way, then why not take it. Soooo, here come my instructions on how to get your font from MyFonts.

Instructions for Photoshop
1) Get your font up with what you want (bigger size, better results)
2) Right click on the font and select 'Copy Image'
3) Go into Photoshop and paste the image onto your canvas. You will notice that it shows up black
4) Use the Magic Wand with a 10 tolerance, uncheck 'Continuous', check 'Anti-Alias', and select the black part then delete it
5) Deselect the area and change to the Paint Bucket
6) Select the color you want the font to be
7) Set the Paint Bucket tolerance to be 20, higher if you chose a smaller font size and there are a lot of thin lines, uncheck 'Continuous', check 'Anti-Alias', then paint the font

Bam, you now have a font in your color and that you like.

I know with the bigger fonts this gets tedious, but the amount of quality fonts that they have, it is super well worth it.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The world is getting smaller and smaller

Ok this is a little freaky. The world is getting a little too small for me. So first I met Miss T. because she is friends with my fiancee's friend. Now I got my other friend telling me that her friend (who I actually had classes with) actually went to HS school with Miss T. and found out that I am blogging through her Facebook post.


It is like the circle of life man. I feel like I am Simba and should be singing Hakuna Matata with Elton John.

Now where is that crazy monkey who can tell my future.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I should sell my invitation templates

I got to be able to sell my wedding invitation templates. For all those who don't know, we are DIY on our invites. I am wedding invitation layout number 7 and I think it is going to be final. Now granted I didn't think of this stuff by myself. I took liberties with invites I found on the web and in store and put some personal touches on it. I bet with these 7 invites, I can open up shop and have a collection of simple wedding invites. I can already envision my web site name: Our motto will be, "If you find it, we can jack it and make it for cheaper!" I am Chinese, so it is in our blood. I hope this mess ends soon or else people are only coming to our wedding by word of mouth. I actually don't know if we have to send out invites since people are finding our wedding website now and grabbing details from there. Let's hope this madness ends soon.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My dad is Mayor, beat that!

So you are the mayor and you want to give a unique gift, what do you give?
I can think of a couple crazy things you can do:
1) Name the day after me
2) Give me the key to the city
3) Void all my parking tickets

Pretty much that would make my day. I mean check it: how many people get a day named after them? Can you imagine, let's celebrate 's day. Awesome. Or getting a key to a city. I guess that isn't as important because every single American Idol contestant gets a key to the city. I want the KEY to the city. Yeah, give me like the master key to all the doors to city hall, accounting, treasury, and local banks. Spanks.

But I mean what do you give your kids when you are the mayor. You got all your political friends at the wedding, so its got to be something good. You get a certificate commemorating the day signed by no other but, YOU. It is kind of corny but very cool at the same time. It is definitely something you don't see all the time and just adds another memory that the guests go home with.

I'd rather still have the key to the bank though.

Dancing Solo

Here is a tip: When dancing begins, the bride and groom HAVE to be on the floor otherwise the party doesn't start, no matter how much spirits the party has consumed.

So at the wedding that I just attended I had to do a little solo performance demonstrating all my horrible dance moves. The result of my two minute performance, 1 additional dancer. I told you it was bad. So bad that I went on with people rooting me on and I high stepped it through the tables to the floor to all of them proceeding to sit down as I fake break dance spun on the floor. But at least one of my friends showed sympathy and got on the floor and started bouncing with me. As our friends laughed and wolves howled, people eventually got up and danced. Good effort and good thing there wasn't a videographer otherwise that POS would be on YouTube right now.

PS I am a shy person, really.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Their photographer = my photographer

So I admit, I took advantage of the bride and groom's photographer. You know those pictures that they take as they go around the tables toasting and what not. You never see those. Unless you got someone else from another table to snap a shot, you don't get those pictures. Soooo, I took my camera and ask the photographer if he would take a picture with it. I am sure the photographer was like WTF?!?! Now, I think he would have been less WTF if it was just any point and shoot camera. Those pics aren't going to be any good anywayz. But nope, I gave a him a pro camera, better than the one that his 2nd shooter was using. So I am sure he was like, "Crap, I am not going to make any money on this table." And I totally understand where he is coming from. It is how he makes a living. That is why I think he took the picture like crap. I looked at it after was like WTF. oh well. I tried.

What was funny was that people were taking pictures of the bride and groom cutting cake. It seriously was like paparazzi. I am thinking we should ban cameras from our wedding it was so bad. There were seriously like 40 people taking pictures. Not only do you got a lot of p&s and phone cameras, but there were a couple other pro bodies there too. The photographer is trying to take the picture and all these flashes are going off like crazy. You think it was Brangelina walking by. The 2nd photographer just laughed and started taking pictures of the people instead. It was a sight to be seen.

But in all seriousness, the reason I made the comment that we should ban cameras is because all these flashes are going off and the photographer is trying to take a picture. The photographer that you paid 1, 2, 3, 4gs for. All the flashes jack up his lighting. I took pictures when he wasn't taking pictures. That is just what you do. You respect the photog because in the end, you are just going to file those pictures away while the bride and groom are going to turn out to be ghostly white because of the 20 flashes that went off when he was taking the picture.


That wedding's a Scorcher!

One of the worst things to happen to a wedding is to have mother nature f with it. Rain and snow are probably the worst thing to happen, but I put scorching hot heat right next to it. Today in LA, it was mighty hot, like mid 90s heat. I mean seriously, how can you go from June gloom to June light my butt on fire. Ok, it wasn't triple digits, but it was not nice 80 degrees. Luckily the wedding was at 5:30, so it did cool down a fair bit. What is funny though is that when you go to a Chinese/Taiwanese wedding, all the mid to old 1st gen people are all allergic to the sun. You know the type. The ones that drive with the big all green visor big enough to block out 20 suns and wear the white gloves in case there is ever the need to not leave any prints behind. (Yeah, a bit stereotypical, but I am Chinese so I can say those things) So when you have that type of guests, of course the seats in the sun are going to be empty. So there were like 20 rows maybe and 15 were in the sun. People were sitting three to every three chair like the sun was their kyptonite. The only brave souls to venture into the hot steamy rays of sunlight were the young kids. The young kids are proud that they are brown and not a pasty like organic yogurt.

What is also funny is that you can always see the groom and groomsmen hating the heat. They walk outside and start sweating instantly. They are standing up at the front in the direct battering of rays and sweating like Shaq at the free throw line. Esp the groom man. Not like he isn't under enough pressure, but now you got to compete with the sun also? Damn you helper of life! Of course you got the photogs running around with their a billion megapixel cameras that can capture all those beads of sweat for you album. If you a lucky they will get that one that just drips off chin and splatters ont eh rose pedals below.

On a side not, a day like this is good when you don't have a suit. Yes that is me. I came down south and thought 100 trillion % that my suit was in LA, but in the morning when I tried to search for it was no where to be found. Crapperrific. Low and behold my suit is up north hanging on a rack. Good thing it is hot. Why u ask? Cuz I can get away with just pants. I am wearing a shirt too you pervs. Who wears a jacket when it is a billion and two degrees. Only if I want to turn my clothes into the next rain forest.

So yeah, heat sucks, wind sucks, rain sucks more, snow sucks just as much, but not having to buy a full suit rules. O yeah the wedding was bombastic too, great backdrop at Friendly Hills Country Club.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Wedding Planner actually earns you money?!?!?

This is what I am thinking. All the hours you sit, looking at websites, magazines, trying to figure out flowers, trying to make invitations, etc.., etc.., is it actually saving you money? It is true that you probably aren't working while you are doing this, so it is technically time that you aren't making money, but lets try to work this out with an example.

Making your own invitations:
Research & Design: 10 hrs
Creation: 24 hrs
= 34hrs
Now lets say you make $10/hr at Starbucks = $340 in labor. Now that doesn't include the materials. So materials may cost you upwards of 3-4 bucks depending on how elaborate you get.
So say it is for 100 invites, then that = $350 which is a total cost of $690.

Now wouldn't it be easier to buy them? You save time, you spend a little more money out of pocket, but you could also be vacationing in Hawaii while the stuff is done for you.

Something to ponder....

Monday, June 15, 2009

Engagement Shoot Done, Finished, Can we do it again?

So we chose the excellent Michael Norwood to do our engagement shoot. We would have taken him for the whole sha-bang if it wasn't for this pesky thing known as a budget. We decided that since we are saving on our main wedding photographer, that we might as well spend a little more for our engagement session. So in comes M Norwood. The dude is funny and fun to talk to. He is a foodie. He has chopsticks at a sushi joint just for him. Seriously, that is bad ass. But he is just comedy. Esp dig the model face poses to get the girl the way he wants them to be. But overall, he is just a cool guy to get you to put on your sexy pose.

Oh yeah, so where did we go. We went to Laguna Beach. No we didn't see LC, although I was on the lookout. But it was fun. It was actually a good day too. I mean you come from Pasadena area and it is all gloom and doom and then head out to the coast and it is scattered clouds so it made for some good times.

But man, people are interested when they see you getting pictures taken. I think we must have gotten hit by 10 people shouting out of the car "awww how cute" or "kiss herrrrr" or something to that effect. Or if we are doing something and a car drives by, then stop and say "Do it again." What is so intriguing? Stop wasting our time!!!! I only look this good once a year mang.

Oh yeah, so since we chose our wedding photographer, here is my super duper photographer spreadsheet. I know that it isn't all up to date and the the prices are probably all stale and moldy, but hey it is a starting point right. You can basically make the assumption that everyone raised their prices the same %. Plus these prices are only starting points for some serious negotiations.

Los Angeles Photographers

Big Ups

So I realize that my last post was all about the food food food at the Bridal shower that I was exiled from, but popped in to eat everything. I must extend my big ups to the rest of the bridal party that helped make my fiancee soooo happy. Big ups to the early riser who hit the flower mart at the butt crack of dawn to get some greenery. Big ups to the jeopardy maker for coming up with excellent questions (no big ups for calling the dog Chanel). Big ups to the maker of the take home snack packs of white chedder crackers and gummi bears. Big ups to the impossible word search creator who must have had way too much free time to make it that hard. Big ups to the hosts, thanks for letting them crash your house and take all the delish food home.

Just a big ups to all.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Never underestimate a good MOH

When you are looking to pick you MOH, what qualities do you look for? Good friend? Keeps secrets? Always there for you? Fun to hang out with? No, No, No, No and No. Ok, well maybe to some of them. What you should be looking for it party planner extraordinaire and chef. Well that is what my fiancee got. My fiancee's bridal shower was the 3rd one hosted at the MOH's house in 2 months. Fantastic. Means she got this stuff down pat right? Hell Yes.

Not only does she have it down pat, she is like pastry queen. Seriously. She knows how to rock everything sweet since that is her day job at an undisclosed 5 star hotel. What more could you ask for? More you say? How about more food than you can imagine. All homemade. All made during the week. All made for more than 20 people with enough to feed thirty. OH yes. Y-E-S! So much food that when I came back from exile, I was able to stuff my face to the nth degree.

A couple cream puffs, few cucumber sandwiches, about half a dozen smoke salmon sandwiches, some cheese and crackers, followed by a mini red velvet cupcake. Yeah, I ate all that and if u saw me, you would be asking where da heck did it all go. Yeah I am a twig, chopstick to be ethnically correct.

The sick thing was, I wasn't even hungry. Yet I made myself sick. Guess I deserved that. Here are some pictures I manage to snap AFTER the party was over and sort of before the scavengers starting planning their meals for the week.
p.s. the girl trying to eat my cream puff is not my fiancee, if you were wondering

It is a small world

So today I am talking to one of my fiancee's friends and found that it is truly a small world. One of the reader's of this blog is actually the fiancee or best friend or something to that effect of my fiancee's friend who getting married in a couple weeks. So that is really whacked. Like 2 degrees of separation. What is really whacked is first of all, there aren't that many readers of this mess. 2nd of all, what are the chances that 1 of those readers is going to be friends of a friend. Like 1 in a bajillionmillionzillion. Yeah crazyness. I should go buy a lotto ticket, win, and pay for this wedding.

Guess I will see you in a couple weeks at the their wedding. We can do the intros, chit chat, and shoot da shiznit. Oh yeah, I might be a little loud.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Where da heck the Tip Jar come from?

You ever go to a wedding and you see tip jars out? I went to one before with tons of tip jars. The band had a tip jar. It was a large plastic one, which I believe in its previous life was a container for martini olives. Tacky. The bar had a tip cup. Although it wasn't on top of the bar, it was slightly behind it where it catches you eye as you wait. You could see the carefully folded dollar bills hanging over the lip of the cup as to say "Tip me and I will make your drink stronger!!!!" Even the ushers had tip jars, which got you incentive to not be placed behind Aunt Joan with the hat that half the birds of the rain forest help make. The priest probably had one in his bible (tip him and the ceremony time gets cut in half!).

But seriously. The guests are invited to come spend a day with you, get free drinks and a free meal. They are technically paying for these things though if they buy you a gift or spend money in gas. But they are suppose to come and enjoy themselves, not worry if they bathroom doorman deserves a dollar b/c if you don't he won't give you soap.

If we have a tip jar at our wedding, it is going to be a clear bottle with a slit in the lid and on the bottle it was say "Please help pay off the credit cards that we used to fund your night."

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Seriously MIA

So I have been seriously MIA from blogging. Do I have time? Yes. Why don't I blog? I don't know. Since we are on the cusp of the 3 month mark, I decided to blog. I think we are making progress but we aren't crazy ahead in terms of things we have left to do. Let see some things that we have finished:

Order tux
Booked Photographer
Booked engagement photographer
Went to more cake tastings that failed, so think we are sticking with original
Launched website

Things that are in motion:
Blocking off hotel rooms for out of towners
Getting quote for full bar (oh yes!)
Reviewing quote for flowers (might be orchid overkill)
Started buying stuff for invitations
Fiancee's hair trial was a total bust
Still working on website (looks like I broke it for IE, damn u microsoft!)

Still there is tons of crap to do. Finalize the rentals, find out where we are staying for the wedding, still got to book honeymoon flight (where are the deals!!!), videographer, rehersal lunch, etc..... etc.... etc.... This thing never ends. Why would anyone want to get into wedding planning business. It never ends!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Honeymoon is ON!

Honeymoon is on. I love traveling. What would I do if I wasn't working? Traveling. We now I get to travel for 3 wks. Oh yes. My fiancee isn't even scheduled to work in September. How much awesomeness is that? I got enough days to take the whole month off also. So where do you go with all that time? Has to be a cluster of places. Some place where you can jump from place to place. Europe? Done. Australia? too cold. Southeast Asia. Now you are talking. So that will be the destination. Southeast Asia here we come.

First stop: Phuket!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Wedding Website Gone Wild?

No it ain't Spring Break, but my website sure thinks it is. I am sure everyone has gone to a wedding and if you have gone to a wedding in the past like 5 years, I am sure that you've seen the appearance of wedding websites almost being the norm. There are so many people offering free and easy to use websites. Why wouldn't I want something that is easy and fast to setup? I got so many more things to do, I don't want to spend time on the website. But this is where the problem lies. All the websites are the same. SAME SAME SAME SAME. All cookie cutter. I don't want to be cookie cutter. I want to be different. I want people to come to my website and go, "That is one stinkin freakin good website."

No I can't hate on people who use those sites. Putting together a site is no easy feat. It takes a lot of time and a lot of coding. Not everyone knows HTML. Not everyone knows Javascript. Not everyone knows JQuery. Shoot people don't even know those exist. But for me, it is like working on a piece of art. This is something that I can sink my teeth into. I can code up this site and create graphics that make it my own.

We are going to add stuff that people would not expect. This isn't going to be ordinary. We are going for extraordinary. At least if people go, "oh that wedding invite was ok, that save the date was ok, that cake was ok, but that site was freakin Bomb-bastic!" LoL. Or at least go, "That guy has way too much time on his hand."

To give you an idea, here is something different: The site starts with Boom Boom Pow playing in the background with 8 animated speakers.

Since this post is now my 101st post (I deleted on old post), I vow to post a picture with every post from now on.

Check it, wedding wallpaper:
Trendy Wendy and Todd are property of David and Goliath Inc.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wedding Wallpaper

First off, I hit 100 posts and then just vanished. I know I have been MIA b/c I have working like a freakin mad person on this new project and got people all up in my stuff.

So we are like 4.5 months away. Damn we got a lot of things to do. But one of the things while I was redoing our website was wedding wallpaper. You think anyone would actually want a wallpaper of me and fiance reminding them of the date? I think not. But shoot I am going to make them anywayz. I made one in fact and it is not my desktop wallpaper. I personally think it is bad ass and everyone should do this. Shoot I did it with our faux engagement shots that I had my future mother in law take of us. Yeah, so make wedding wallpaper, itz da shiz. Maybe if I want to reveal myself, I will post it. Otherwise for those who know our website, you can see it on there as the landing page.

PS, anyone ever use overnight prints? I heard up and downs about them and mainly that they take butt long to get the order out, but shoot they are cheapo man.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Stressed? Should I be?

We hit the 5 month mark or just about to. Should I be stressed? Maybe, but I am not. Why not? Because stuff is going to get done. Stuff always gets done in the end anywayz. But hey if you are stressed, maybe you should take avantage of Spa Week. Good way to treat yourself to a little relaxation.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Price of Veils is just unreasonable until...

we found Crowning Glory Designs by Candi Merle. Now there isn't a website or any advertisement, just a store front in the OC. She has a popular Project Wedding page with 38 glowing reviews. She isn't really popular. She is more like a diamond in the rough. For the budget bride, she is the your designer in the bargain bin.

Personally I don't see how someone could spend hundreds of dollars and sometimes even trumping the cost of a bridesmaid dress, on a veil. It just baffles the mind. It is just a piece of cloth cut and put around a headband. $200, $300, $400? For something that you will wear for pictures and ceremony and then Buh-BYE.

This is where Candi comes in. She has affordable veils. How affordable? $5, or even $10? Ok, she ain't Goodwill, but she does come in low. Lower than $50. Sounds way better than a couple hundred. Here is the process: Go to her, try on veils, order veil, receive semi custom veil in 2-3wks. And there is a bonus! The bonus being is that if you change your mind later, she is willing to work with you. She doesn't just slam the door in your face, but she works with you. Now if that ain't a good vendor, then I don't know what is.

Crowning Glory Designs by Candi Merle
3350 Greenleaf Drive
Brea, CA 92822
(714) 986-9944

p.s. She ships too.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Does Frugality trump Expression

Does saving money trump expression? In the case of everything not called "Wedding", probably. As you all know, the US Postal Service is raising their price stamps for the 10th time in a year (cause not like we are in a recession or nothing). Now they are selling those simple, yet not very pretty forever stamps that last forever! The price stays forever. The stamp stays ugly forever also. Now if you haven't sent out those invites yet, these forever cents would save you a couple of bux. LOL, couple of bux. That is the epitomy of a cheap ass.

So the question is, are cute little expressive stamps worth the extra 2 bux you could be saving by buying forever stamps?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

How many is too many?

I am looking at this stanger's wedding and I've got a question: "How many bridesmaids/groomsmen is too many?" This couple has got 13 couples on each side. Lucky 13? Really? Maybe they watched 21 Dresses with lead star of Chucky the Bride and thought "Hey, let's switch it up and go all Friday the 13th and jinx our marriage from the very beginning." I can just see myself if I was in that situation, "Great, should I get a lawyer to draw up the docs right now? Maybe we should make this a destination wedding so I don't have to give up half." But seriously, what do you do with 26 people? I don't even have 26 friends. Ok I lie, but still. They should put everyone at the head table. It would be like Knights of the Round times TWO!

I should go, "Honey, I think we should add 10 more groomsmen." Her immediate response would be, "Hell no! Love you though."

Monday, March 16, 2009

This Countdown Even Work?

I am looking at this countdown and it is such a big number, but when you break it down into months, it is not so big. So we are under the 6 month mark and still got stuff to do. What do we got to do? Lots of stuff. It is easier to recite the things that we have done (much shorter list) rather than the things we have to do. But like I said, it only takes like a week to pull this off, so 5.5 months or 179 days or something seems like an eternity. It is like how the final 2 minutes of a basketball game takes 20 minutes. AN ETERNITY!

Yeah, I don't know what to blog about since I haven't been doing anything since I got back from skiing. The only thing I did manage to do is to change the splash screen for our website and put a new song. I love being unproductive. Hmm..maybe working on the website would be a good idea...I wonder what's on TV.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What is your last name again?

We've hit a dilemma. The soon to be wifey is changing job in which she wears a lab coat. The new employer was gracious enough to embroider the lab coat with her name. What name should she put? Current or future? I say just embrace the future. It is inevitable, take my name forever!!!


Registry Tip

Here is a little tip from my friend about Macy's registry.

Macy's has a lot of stuff. If you don't want something that you have been given, they give you store credit. A secret to getting cash back is to open a Macy's card. When you have a Macy's card, you can ask them to put it back on the card. Now I think there is some tag on the transaction that tells that it is a store credit, but wait a few months and then ask for the negative balance back because credit card companies do not like cards with negative balance. If they refuse to give it back to you, then cancel the card and they have to give it back to you.

This should work for other stores with credit cards also. Enjoy!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Skepticle of the Live Band

I always thought it was interesting to have a live band. To truly do it right I think you have to have a combination of Live Band and DJ. The band always has to take a break and generally just puts on a CD of music. This turns into down time. All of the sudden the music is gone and people are just like, what do we do? You hope that they fill the air with events and speeches to pass the time, but sometimes you can't fill the whole space. I must say that this band that I saw this weekend at my friend's wedding was nice. They were really good. So good that I would even forgo a DJ. I always thought that if someone got a live band that it would be boring and people wouldn't dance, etc... I was wrong. That is what happens when you get a SHITTY band. The band we saw was Entourage, part of duBois Productions. These guys were worth the money. The guy had a really nice voice and even when his mic blew during the first dance, he jumped off the stage and sang a cappella to the couple. It was a nice and quick touch. He also has 2 other female singers with him who can both blow. If you got the 5 figs to get these guys, I definitely recommend them because they totally changed my mind on live bands @ weddings for all time.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


So I have been defeated. Well, the budget that we agreed on has been blown away. I mean it was already blown away in our projection of costs, but I can officially declare it dead. How did it die? Hmm...maybe cuz I am just a guest and have no say (well that is what the vendors tell me). Ok, I have a big say, but now I got a Suga Mama, so no worries. Plus she is uprooting herself to move to my neck of the woods way earlier than anticipated, so we figured we ought to get something we are happy with rather than compromising all the time. But yeah. Also one of the reasons is that we still can't find a photog that we both like. We had 1. He was cheap, but also cannot book for another 2 MONTHS. Shoot at this rate, we might not even book someone by then. So I have ventured out. Reaching out to photogs in San Luis Obispo, San Diego, and Arizona. But we are raising the budget on the photog. Simply there is no one we like in the middle ground area. Oh well. Defeated. Maybe I should change the heading.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Ugly Vendor

Would you hire an ugly vendor?

I don't know if I would. I know that sounds superficial, but I mean your guests are looking at your caterer, DJ, videographer, or photographer. Generally most of the vendors are ok, middle of the road looking, but then sometimes you get some fugly people. I know I sound like an ass, but you really want to subject your guests to that. Are your friends ugly? Of course not. Not to you, but to someone else, one of your friends might be ugly. So if think of all the various guests that you are inviting who don't know each other but know you. Now think that they have all different thoughts about what ugly looks like. Then think of your vendor. Did they fall off ugly tree? I am not hiring someone who looks like Freddy Krueger. Just like you aren't going to see Shamu @ New York Fashion Week (ok, that was from "The City", I know, I know, I know). To be honest, I haven't met any Freddy's, nor expect to. But I have met/seen some borderlines that make me think. Call Pretty or Call Borderline? Hmm..I'll call pretty.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I love the free stuff

So I went to my first registry event over the weekend. I didn't even know they had registry events, but it totally makes sense. All these companies want a piece of the wedding cake, so why not open a couple hours early and host an event for all the couples. The one I attended was at Crate and Barrel. Now, Crate is just overpriced in general. Most of the stuff is all one brand and there isn't really any diversity. They sell Wustof, but not Henckel. They sell All-Clad and Calphalon, and not, well I guess you shouldn't be using anything else. They sell OXO, but not Glad. I am just looking at all this crap and going, "Man, I could go to Chinatown or Daiso and buy all this stuff for like a dollar." I was actually looking at an All-Clad 12" stainless steel fry pan and it was at full retail price of 160, when I just bought it for 70 bux a couple weeks ago. So here I am with 70+ other couples wading through all that Crate has to offer, looking might go lucky (don't know how to they do it since it is freakin like 9 in da morn), and all I can see is free stuff. Free waffles so that they can pimp the waffle maker. Free panini sandwiches so they can pimp the panini press. Free coffee so people can be wired and scan like maniacs. Free mimosa's and champagne so your vision will be blurry and won't be able to make out the prices. Free cookies because everyone just loves a cookie. Another nice thing was the free bowl. Ok not really. It is this heart shape thing that should only show its face during V day. A couple years ago it is was two champagne flutes, which are way more useful. But another little surprise was the free kitchen shears we got for talking with the Wustof rep. Ding ding ding, winner winner chicken dinner. Take that off the registry.

I think I will go on being a newly engaged for the next 20 yrs and just show up to these things and mooch off some free stuff. Boo yah!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Are you stalking us?

So I bashed on this vendor before in this post and didn't reveal their name. But now that I am thinking back on this, it is time for the unveiling of this retarded vendor. The not so winner is...
Ray & Rob DJ Service by Ray Tomlinson

This is guy is stalking me. He came in at a really good price and wanted to save some cash money. After he talked my ear off and make a dissed his partner because his phone kept ringing, he is now stalking us. He calls me. I don't answer. He leaves a voicemail. He calls me again. He leaves another voicemail. Then at the same time, he calls my fiancee, and hangs up. Calls again and hangs up never leaving a voicemail for her. Like a stalker I tell you. He is hoping for the pick up, but doesn't want to reveal it is him who is calling over and over and over and over and over and over. ENOUGH ALREADY! Just stop. Go Away. Or leave a message and stop stalking me. I don't swing that way bucko. Yuck.

I am not going with him and neither should you. Be safe, don't book Ray & Rob.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Not blogging

For those 9 people who read this blog, I haven't been blogging. Sorry. I suck. Yeah I am sucking wind right now. I am sick and I have work. Here are the past two weeks. Chinese new years dinner, then to Denver for two days, then full days at work firefighting, sitting on calls, writing up documentation, and then I get sick over Presidents and now I have a deadline by Friday to write up massive amounts of troubleshooting documentation so that we are ready for a GoLive of Monday. So no blogging till my hell is over.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I just got back from Denver, and guess what I drove by...the Waffle

Friday, February 6, 2009

Be The Cheapass

If you are a serious cheap ass, how cheap can you have a wedding for 50 people not including license fees. How low can you go? Well you could do the Waffle House wedding or even have chili's cater it. Lets do the math:
1 Dress - $50 target, $20 at goodwill
1 Veil - $6.50 target
1 Shoes - fck shoes, wear sandals
Rehearsal - we do this on the fly
Officiant - that's mah Pa, ya'll hear
Meal for 50 - 50 Costco hot dogs coming right up, oh yeah free drink = $75
Drinks - h2o, that is why god put it on earth = free!!
Flowers - Free, pick them from the neighbor's garden
Bridesmaids - 0, who needs them, they'll just eat my waffles
Groomsmen - 0, they are still at the strip joint
Wedding Car - shopping cart from Safeway...honk honk
Cake - saltine cracker tower with free jelly as the filling, used to be my late night snack.
Rings - lifesavers or twisties from the super!
Venue - public park with fountains, just get someone to get out there early, they will think it is a bbq.
Honeymoon - 1 night outside of mama's house, maybe the toolshed, how romantical

The perfect wedding for 50 people for possibly under $100 bux. Beat that!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

These guys just make you want to get married

If you are getting married and haven't heard of StillMotion, then you've been hiding under a rock. I've been following them for a while now and if you watch their videos, they just make you want to get married. The way they portray day is just so great. If I had cash money, I'd fly them down and have them video our wedding and just be bomb-tastic.

We're in a Recession, Good Time to get Married

Is this a good year to get married? Yes and No. For those who are already secured their date for this year, it don't matter. But for those who are anxious or just want some good reading, listen up. We are in a recession. Yes, R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N. Not even Obamarama can save us. From looking at his stimulus plan, it ain't going to do anyone any good. Why you may ask? Because credit has dried up. A lot of these companies run on credit. Here is an example. AMD. Advance Micro Devices. The competitor to Intel. They lose about 1 billion a quarter. They just had influx of 300 million of investments. Lose 1 billion. Add 300 million. Equal -700 million. Yes still surviving. And they plan to lose money till end of 3rd quarter. They only have like 1 billion in the bank maybe. How does that work. Credit. Credit is king for companies that live in the future instead of the now. So with us in a recession and possibly heading into a depression by the end of the year, why should or shouldn't you get married.

I do: Even if you get ripped off, at least it is going back into the economy. All those destination weddings outside the states..DIE!

I don't: Save your money in case the sh!t falls through the roof and your house is foreclosed and you lose your job. So dreary.

I do: Brings happiness to an otherwise bleak year.

I don't: For all those who are using this as a profit machine, your guests are probably going to no show, no gift, or just give you coals with love.

I do: You can negotiate the hell out of the vendors because they need money too!

I don't: You are probably still going to get ripped off.

I do: Honeymoons are going to be steals from flights to lodging to food.

I don't: Unless you go to Japan, in which case you are going to get raped even more than before.

I do: For all you big Vs out there, this is the year

I don't: Vendors still increased their prices from 2008, you got to be kidding me.

I do: You can get a good deal on a house after your married

I don't: I lost my money in the stock market, I need my wedding money to buy that house.

I do: There are tons of information on weddings to make your day the best it can be.

I don't: You realize that all stress to the nth degree is just not worth it.

I do: You make a blog like this one.

I don't: You make a blog like this one.

I do: You realize you're not the only one like this.

I don't: Damn, you really aren't the only like this.

I do: You love your partner. That is the only reason you need.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Where is my damn photographer?!?!

Oh yeah, in the out of budget area.

I think I screwed myself. Seriously screwed myself. Prior to actually getting engaged, I followed wedding photographers. You may be wondering why. Because they provide inspiration. See I like to shoot. No, not shoot like shooting Bambi, but shooting like capturing the moment. I have been going to all these weddings so it is good to get at least some good shots for my own entertainment and these photogs allow me to train my "eye". So before getting engaged, I followed a handful of wedding photographers, all of whom are out of my budget. Now after researching and getting engaged, I follow over 20+ photographers with only 3 in my budget. How has that trained my eye? It trained my eye to know who is not very good or not very experienced to who is what I want. How has this screwed me? Because everyone I like it massively expensive. Dammit. What have I done. I have created a monster called the "Wedding Photog Blog Stalker from Mars".

How do you push aside you expectations and try to find the good in these low priced photogs? You don't. To me there is no excuse for bad composition. That is the main thing. Bad composition = bad photographer. Give me a photographer who takes great composed pictures, but post processes them terribly and I will make their pictures look like a superstar. Shoot I will make myself look like a superstar. Make my fiance look like a superstar. SUPERSTAR! SPIRIT FINGERS!

Why am I still looking at photogs? Because I don't have one. Well, had one in mind, but can't book till end of April and that is cutting it too close so have to move on. Hopefully this revisit will yield someone, although that someone is going to be higher than our first choice. Yeah it blows like Free Willy's hole.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Wedding 2.0 - It's all about the WWW

Today's generation are all web savvy people. I mean we grew up with this stuff. I am probably dating myself and probably outing my nerdness, but I will do it anywayz. Back in da day; it was a Tuesday by the way, like that fact? chew on it. Back in da day when you used dial up on my Intel 386 66Mhz computer with a 1440bps modem and it was Prodigy vs AOL. Back in the day when Google didn't exist and you could buy There was no internet basically. There was text based chat rooms that could hold 8 people at a time for the whole community. When bulletin boards where the big things and "You've Got Mail" are some magical words. When online kids were so stupid that they gave out their passwords in AOL chatrooms (Maybe that's why I never paid for AOL).

Wedding 1.0
Advertisement: Magazines, trade shows, word of mouth, newsletters, physical mail, yellow pages, penny saver
Reach: tens of thousands

Wedding 2.0
Advertisement: 1.0 + blogs, social networks, community websites, email, twitter
Reach: millions

Some of these vendors are stuck in the dark ages. They have no web presence what so ever. Pictures of their venues suck. Descriptions of their services blow. Now are you serious about your work or is it just for fun. Some of these guys it is just for fun, so I don't hold that against them. But these other guys who hound you and they don't have it all together, why would you want to go with them.

Now don't get me wrong I like going to all these community places like Project Wedding, Yelp, Wedding Bee, etc... and sharing my opinions and experiences with a vendor, restaurant or whatever. So that is why I bash the ones I don't like, and praise the ones I do. You are given this outlet channel, might as well use and don't let these guys get you down. Read everything and take nothing for granted.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Another vendor just called -> straight to voicemail

Why you calling me? Oh cuz I met with you. I got to keep this vendor stringing along because we haven't booked the other person yet so if sh!t hits the fan, I got to keep this one live. But I don't want to talk him because he talks too much. You ever get those. I had 2 in the past week. Those vendors who love to sell because they love to listen to themselves. Gawd. Shoot me now. I want to reach through the phone and choke them and say "LET ME SPEAK!" Let me go a little MLK on you,
"I have a dream that one day, all vendors, regardless of industry; weddings, corporate events, bar mitzvah, christenings, bounce house parties; will all sell their wonderful things fast and speak to the point. That all listeners of their own voice will relinquish the desire to talk in large amounts. That they have the courage to take an Immodium or make use of a cork to stop their deadly annoying disease 'Diarrhea of the mouth'.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day the first vendor you meet will seem like your best friend or long lost sister, brother, midget twin, three legged dog or that ham sandwich from 2 tuesdays ago.

I have a dream that my two little future children will one day live in a nation where they will not be scammed by the same thieves who have tried to do me wrong, but be in a level playing field full of bargains and coups.

I have a dream today!

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of America's fiancees will be able to sing with new meaning:
My wedding 'tis of thee, sweet holy matrimony, of thee I sing.

Land where my wallet sucked dry, land of the bargainer's pride,

From every discount store, let freedom ring!

And if our weddings are to be a great extravaganza, this must become true.

And when this happens, when we allow our wallet's freedom ring, when we let it ring from every mall and every venue, from every church to dinning hall, we will be able to speak up that day for all future brides and grooms, cheap bastards and stingy parents, religious cheaters and non-affliated posers, TomKat and Speidi, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of my spiritual:
Saving at last! Saving at last!

Thank You the Cranky Wedding Blogger Almighty, we are saving at last!"
Man I hope I don't get anymore of these guys.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sell me, don't patronize me

After talking to all these vendors, you got to wonder if they actually know how to sell people. I mean they got to be able to sell to a certain extent otherwise they wouldn't still be in business. But once you drop the fact that you are looking at another vendor, which isn't theirs, they go into overdrive. What are they offering? Did they do this and that? Why are you choosing them? Normally I wouldn't mind it because they are just trying to make the sale, but for some reason this last one just irked me a little.

So the vendor that got a little under me was Robert Poff @ Station Identification DJ services. Richard called me to follow up on an email inquiry/response that he had sent me. I proceeded to tell him that I was down last weekend and met with a couple of DJs already and was looking seriously at one. He asked how did I choose which ones to go with. My answer was price. Straight up. On a budget, so started from the bottom and moved up. He was taken aback by that response. He proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be looking at price. Telling me how he convinced people from a certain range to go with him. Let me tell you, this guy isn't cheap. His prices for Ceremony and Reception are 2K+. Out of range. He was confident though that he could change our minds. Then he goes on:
RP: Did DJ show you videos?
Me: No. He showed me pictures.
RP: I do that, he should do that. You should see how he is in action.
Me (thinking): Videos are just your best performances, you can weed out all worst ones, so it doesn't tell me the complete picture. Bet you were drunk and fell off the stage once also. Do you have that on video?
Me: I looked him up on the internet and he got positive reviews.
RP: How many?
Me: He had a few.
RP: I have 100s of reviews. I do 1-2 events a weekend, about 150 events a year, your DJ should have 100s of reviews. Can your guy mix?
Me: Yeah, he will beat mix and he used to mix at clubs.
RP: Did he show you a video?
Me: No (get over the video fool), but I am sure he can mix and keep people dancing.
RP: You know what I do? I take you into our studio and mix for you.
Me (thinking): Woo hoo! *twirling fingers* white boy mixing
RP: Give me any genre and any song and I will mix them.
Me: OK
RP: Well I am really sure that you guys will like us and you should come in.
Me: Ok.

I am sure that if I told him something else about the DJ, he would have tried to one up them. there was more to this conversation, but I just didn't want to write it up. You and your vendor are suppose to gel with your personalities. I don't respond well to people who are critical of others. Turn off. Hyperspace and talks non-stop. Turn off.

This guy was a turn off. I don't know how he got so many people to go with him. Oh and the kicker is, is that he is a compilation of DJs. He does the selling, someone else does the DJing. Wonderful. Sign me up! NOT!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Gamers Wedding Dream Come True

Always wonder what people do when they don't go traditional? They don't have the normal officiant or father to walk the bride down the aisle. What do they do?

They do what they love! They theme it. So this couple, a couple of Gamers, who met while playing Halo 2 decided to get hitched and make a Halo theme out of it. It is quite neat if you are into it. When my friend first told me about a Halo wedding, I thought it would two nerds playing video games and like standing their with a bunch of their Halo friends in the game and them saying their vows over the microphone. But no! This is way cooler equipped with Master Chief and a tournament. Prepare to get ideas for your wedding!

Friday, January 23, 2009

White People, White Dress = White Ripoffs

Not that I have anything against white people, but we just basically distinguish all non-Asian stores as White people stores because generally they are. Granted a small subset may be own by Indian, Persian or some other non-Euro ethnic background, but the majority are either America or Euro owned stores. Soooo why do they feel they can jack people. Now I haven't been dress shopping (forbidden), but I have heard through the grapevine that white shop charges 1800 and asian shop charges 900. WTF? Now that is just an example, but seriously why the other $900 bones? Just cuz you been there longer? Nah, I think just because they can. Now I can't speak for everyone, but in general, customers feel a some what ease when dealing with people of the same race. You know there is that commonality. It is like when you go to college, most people click first with people of the same race or ethnicity and then branch out from there. I think that is the same with wedding shops. If you are a snooty dress shop owner, and a rich buyer comes walking through the door, they feel they can relate to you in this high class store. I mean can you really imagine Fergie or Angelina going out to Wedding Row in like San Gabriel or something to bargain hunt for a dress? I don't think so, but this is ok. The common folk loves to find a deal and 50% off is a pretty darn good deal.

So if I am not going to buy from the high priced stores, what good are they for? Because they have stock. They have selection. Go there, find your dress, then go to an Asian joint and save some cash money. Do a good deed and save some green!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

How to make this blog sellable

I was reading a blog that talks about certain random stuff but one thing stuck out. He detailed alittle about how many post a day he did to make his blog have a following of 50,000 or so. Now I have a following a 6 and probably could increase that even more with a little marketing or more updates than I normally do or with generally useful information. I could probably get sponsers and stuff to pay for my time and make it worth while. But then I would actually have to be thinking about the wedding full time. I think about it maybe an hour a day, sometimes I don't think about it at all. I think that is advantage of starting so early. You are ahead of schedule, or keeping it simple so you don't have to think about all these things.

So now back to the topic at hand. How do I make this sh!t popular. I want to be popular. Never was popular in college. In high school, majority of the class knew me. But I want to be popular on a massive scale. Like Mark Cuban style. I want to max out my facebook and create the largest Plaxo account ever! HAHAHAHA..ok not really. SO the guy goes on and says that in order to make your blog the best and for it to move to the top of the leaderboards on Google, you need to post at least 1 post an hour everyday! Get out of town and call me Shirley. 1 post an hour? I'm lucky if I even have a thought an hour let alone a whole post. And the content has to be good. You have to write well otherwise people won't return. So that is a Nay and a Nay.

Then he pointed out some examples. He referenced the gossip blogs. Yes I read them because they are so freakin entertaining. But they post about 1 an hour over a days time. By the time I open my RSS reader there are like 200+ posts from 10 blogs. That is pretty good. That is probably why they are up at the top and worth bucks.

So I have come to the conclusion that at the conclusion of this wedding and honeymoon, I will shut this guy down forever. Why have a wedding blog when the wedding is no more. I ain't going to post 1 an hour. I won't even do 1 a day. I struggle for 1 a week. This is more of a comical outlet more than any. Just for me to lay the smack down on all those who take advantage of us. May God be with you suckas.

* this post doesn't make any sense. I must be high.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Celebration - Hell No!

Why do DJs always have the inclination to start the dancing with "Celebration"? I hate that song. I liked it before when like the Oakland Raiders used it and it was bad ass because you are surrounded by a bunch of bad ass, dressed up, done up freaks and they are singing along like little fruitcakes. But after double digit weddings in the past two years and hearing the song at basically every single freakin' one of them, I can officially say that wedding DJs have ruined that song for me FOREVER! All I think is Grandpa Joe and Grandma Jane alongside Uncle Roger and Auntie May dropping it like its hot like they have just jumped through a time machine to the 70s. I am sorry. I live in the present. I live in the 2 triple 0. 21st century. I want 21st century music or at least music that I listened to when I started listing to Wild 94.9 in middle school. I want my stuff to be hip to the hop with B Rabbit tearing it up on the mic.

When the party gets started at the wedding, we are going to turn this joint into Club Leong. Those old people don't even stand a chance. Might as well leave before the cake comes out if you don't want to break your ear piece. Its going to be like Tijuana on College Night at the Safari Club. No Grandma this isn't your wholesome ho down, this is the loud and rude battle time. Bring your A game suckas!

Then my fiancee hits me in the head and snaps me back into reality. 4 piece jazz quartet it is. Yes dear. Well, it is always good to dream.