Friday, October 24, 2008

It is not Kosher to ...

wear a white dress to a wedding.

FYI This post is on behalf of women who don't like this.

From a guys point of view, we can give a flying u know what. But from a woman's POV, holy smacks. The shit hits the fan big time. So we attended out last wedding of the year and for the 2nd time of the year, someone decided to wear a white/off white/cream colored dress to the wedding. I am like whatevers, but my fiancee is like "Did you see that person wearing that white dress?" I am like "What, where? ohhh ahhhh." Yeah too bad she was more on the trashy side, but that is besides the point. So I thought she was the only one who actually knew of this little etiquette rule, but nope. The bride knew as well. Her candid response was "That bitch." And she went off on a rant, expletive after expletive. So to some people it does matter.

So after doing some "research" (like reading 1 site), I can deduce that the reason you don't wear white is because the bride is suppose to be the focus of the wedding and therefore the only one in white so can be easily spotted. (Isn't she suppose to be a big V if she is in white??) So I guess the moral of the story is just not to wear white. Don't steal the thunder just cuz you are lonely and depressed and will never have a chance to wear white at a wedding cuz you will never get married EVER and not even in your next life. Have a white dress that you want to wear to the wedding, well fix it. Dip it in cranberry juice, pour laundry detergent over it, roll in the grass, just don't make it white.

I have thought of some consequences to the women who wear white:
1) Bride calls you unthinkable names.
2) Bride shoots darts at your FACE with her eyes
3) Bridal party hates you forever (at least that night)
4) Photographer boycotts you from photos the whole night
5) U R NEVER FRIENDS AGAIN! BFF OVER 4EVR! (ok a little extreme)

Just don't wear white/cream/off white/bright white.

Please. If you want to live. Please. Just don't do it.


M.Soto said...

HAHAHA!!! The soon to be wifey and I went to a wedding and there was a girl wearing an all white dress there also. You wouldn't beleive the names she was called. She was a date of someone so no one knew who she was. To make matter worse she wasn't wearing a bra and sat with her leg open the entire time. All the guys were just laughing because the women were FIT TO BE TIED!!!

Just don't do it ladies!

Randy El. said...

Can I wear white? - Dude

Sophia I said...

excellent post! bravo! super props.
and ... No, Randy. No.

Cathy Ly said...

Brides notice these things BIG TIME. There were 3 females who wore white at my wedding. One was Duc's Aunt from Vietnam who even donned a diamond studded hair band and the other two was my Aunt and daughter who had a white dress with black lace. It's a big NO do not do it...